Sorry if you’re here to learn about actual recycling. (You should still do that, but we’re talking about something a little bit different today.)

I get asked a lot about how I deal with imposter syndrome. It’s a problem among any profession, but runs rampant in artist circles, and professional writing is no different. Answering such a thing on Twitter is kind of complicated in a limited word count, but that’s why we have newsletters!

The short answer? I don’t have it.

The longer answer? I don’t have it anymore, but it’s not because I think I’m this infallible, god-tier writer who has nothing to learn. I’m an idiot who has a million things to learn in any given day. Unlearning this wildly toxic mindset that I “don’t belong” and “am not worthy” of what I have took time, but I’d mostly kicked it to the curb by the time I’d gotten my first full-time writing gig back in 2020.

(The nice things in here don’t have anything to do with what I’m writing, they’re just nice and I wanted to include them because [gestures at everything].)

Not struggling with imposter syndrome doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous or mad anxious, either.

Last weekend was SDCC, which included my first hosting gigs for IGN’s comic-con live stream. I’ve done plenty of interviews, of course, but this was different in a whole host of ways. Mostly, though, it meant that if I fucked it up I did it on a stream and in front of all of my coworkers. There was this unwavering anxiety that if I messed up I would never get the opportunity to do it again, even though every single person was nothing but supportive of what I was doing. Like, truly, unending support from all directions. As someone who’s not used to such things, it was jarring (in a good way).

Now that everything’s in the can, it seems silly to have been so stressed about it at all. All three segments are far from perfect (hello, I’m a type-a disaster who cannot stand the fact that you had to be bad at something — especially in public — before you can be good at it. what bullshit!), but they’re mine and I’m proud of them and am forever in awe of the army of people it took to create them. From the sets to the live-edits to the b-roll… everything.

This wasn’t my first SDCC, but it was my first SDCC with resources. IGN rolled up to the show with a small army of humans, all of which brought their a games and absolutely crushed it. It may have been two years since anyone had attended, but it felt as if no one missed a beat. Incredible work by all.

This month’s newsletter was more personal than usual but, in my defense, I’m mad tired and my brain cells don’t seem capable of wording about anything that isn’t comic-con right now. And, even though all writing advice is bullshit and what I outlined above is just what works for me, I hope it helps anyone dealing with imposter syndrome or nerves at least a tiny bit. Not a single motherfucker knows what they’re doing. Me least of all.